Convincing Myself

I'm small

And thin

And fragile

Again

But my heart beats

Ten times stronger

Now

Dear Future Husband

Dear future husband,
I’m so sorry I’ve been so messed up lately, Whoever you are, I hope you’re as understanding as our Lord, because I am an absolute mess. You’ll figure this out, but I am 100% a creature of habit. I live for routine. And being with someone for one year isn’t going to mean very much when we’ll have been together for our whole lives... But it’s strange. This is very hard for me. This whole pleasing everybody when I’m not even sure what would make me happy. I’m not even sure what I want. I’m glad you’re out there, or in here, or wherever, probably struggling with the same kinds of things as me. Anyway, I’m sorry for being like this right now. And you probably don’t need an apology, but I can’t help it. You are going to be so amazing and loving and caring and full of life and love and happiness and hope and joy and peace and most importantly, you will be so full of Jesus. You will help me learn and grow and thrive in Christ, and I can’t wait to know you and love you as best as a wife can, and I can’t wait, but I will, to live and grow in Christ with you. I already love you so much.