it’s combat
this is a test of endurance
a test of strength
it’s an active fight, something i can never let myself get too comfortable in
an active fight, fighting against my human nature, myself
my tendencies
my old ways, my old habits
everything i’ve ever known
latching
striving
pining
enough.
it’s an active fight against these things
my own flesh
my own blood
an active fight to defeat, to stop, to turn
an active fight,
but also, a continual victory
i have to want to be better
to actually
want
to be and get better
i have to actively try
to try
to be the one
to
be
the one
not just find a one and hang on
enough.
2000
there are ways out
He always talks to me
He always gives me ways out
He is so helpful
i talked about it, but not enough
this part i think i need to do alone
with Him
with mine
with me
He will be the one
teaching me how to be the one
so someday
sometime
maybe