I've Been Misspelling 'Whoa' for My Whole Life

Candle burning

Daughter sings

Her voice is beautiful

But scary

eerie

Head is pounding

Pages turning

Light flickers

Time is ticking

here i sit and stare at the lines so blank but so full

things are happening around me and i throw words on a page

i set my glasses on the ground

a hazard

sometimes it's easier not to look at what I'm writing

and just write

it flows out better that way

ice cold water and grab the railing

caution,

i hang art on my walls but i can't create

four photos in one frame

five friends in one photobooth

i burned my candle for two months

thanks for getting me a new one

my great-great grandmother's watch doesn't tick anymore

it used to

it used to

i wonder if she loved it as much as i used to

i used to feel my heartbeat so loud

it kept me up at night

now sometimes i forget i even have one

you are so bright on that stage

what's the use of a record player with only one record

one album

repeating

good thing i like ella fitzgerald

is it more brave or more cowardly to pretend like someone you're not in public

Invisible scars on our hearts

From love and loss and lack of either

you said something stupid one time but i remembered it

"endlessly chasable, never attainable"

except chase-able isn't even a word

you are so stupid

i don't want to think about you anymore

i have so many colored pens but i always prefer to use the black one

i feel like it's less biased

the top three best smells in the world are laundry and linen-scented candles and your bedroom

and I've only ever been there twice

superficial

worst fears and bad dreams

superficial

i hate this time of year

i wish the grass would grow

but i guess it's my turn

What's in a Name

The way you say my name

Sweetly and softly and special

Like a proper noun

Important

Meant to be capitalized

Like a title or preface

The consonants roll off your lips and

Each syllable lingers a little too long

You say my name in italics

Smoothly and subtly

You make me like the sound

Of each letter weaving together with the next

It sounds different when you say it

It makes me want to listen

Please say it again

Lent!!!!!!

In the church, it is a tradition to give up something during the forty days of the season of Lent. It is supposed to be a time of reflection and fasting to prepare for and look forward to Christ's resurrection on Easter Sunday. I have never really solidly refrained from anything in the past, but this year I am going to attempt (!!!) to fast from social media.

This would be hard for any teenager in my generation, but that's precisely why I'm up for the challenge. This is in hopes that I will write and create more often, spend more time looking at God's creations rather than my phone screen, and pick up my Bible more frequently.

Since the season lasts forty days, it will take some getting used to, so I'm asking anyone and everyone to hold me accountable. This is something I want to do for myself (really just to prove to myself that I can do it). I'm not going to go toss my phone in the lake, but I am going to delete the social media apps that I have. I'll still reply to your text messages and answer your calls, but I won't be posting any more hilariously witty tweets or aesthetically appealing Instagram photos (sorry to let you all down).

Alright. Enough. This whole thing didn't really require a huge paragraph, but whatever. See ya in forty days, internet.

We Don't Need to Come Out of the Woods

In a crowd of people

You dip your head

In the wilderness

We sing instead

In the midst of it all

We whisper shy

In the muffled woods

We dance all night

In the crowded room

You hold my hand

Out here, we're flying

We will never land

In bustling cities

You avert your eyes

Among leaves and trees

You hush my cries

In heavy hallways

We cling to each other

But here and now

With kisses I'll smother

In a crowd of people

You sigh and dread

Inside the woods

We fall in love instead

Art

I am not your masterpiece.

You cannot change me, and burn me, and stain my skin

And sign your name at the bottom

And claim me as yours.

I am not your masterpiece.

I am not a masterpiece.

You cannot leave me hanging on the wall

And admire me from afar.

Steal me, hold me, break me out of this museum.

I am not a masterpiece.

I am a work of art.

You cannot replace me, for there is only one.

He has molded me, shaded me, and loved me.

I am ever-changing, I am His.

I am a work of art.

When I was Sick

Two Haikus

You gently tucked that

Strand of fallen hair in my

Messy ponytail

And that's exactly

When I fell in love with you

All over again

What You Are Not Does Not Compare to What You Are

I'm not a phone talker but I'll answer your calls
I'm not an all-nighter but I'll stay awake

I'm not a fast walker but I'll keep up

I'm not a great dancer but neither are you

I'm not a million things

I'm not a Frozen fan
I'm not a health nut
I'm not a good singer
I'm not tall
I'm not sane
I'm not daring

I could tell you all the things I'm not
Without a second thought
But these do not compare
To the things I actually am

I am a fast typer so I'll respond quickly
I am a book reader so I'll get lost sometimes
I am a loud laugher so you'll catch yourself smiling
I am a music listener so I'll make you playlists
I am an early riser but I'll try not to wake you
I am an adamant writer so I'll annoy you with my excessive and crappy attempts at poetry

But there are a million more things that I am

I am reliable
I am organized
I am a Lutheran
I am passionate
I am a decent baker
I am seventeen

I am me
And the things that I am are far more important than the things I am not
And I am enough

Friday's

Lost in Gold

timidly step up the stairwell
his bright eyes find you through the crowded room
lost in a first impression
adjusts his tie and shakes your father's hand
camera phones flash
frigid air races up your dress
he holds your hand carefully
headlights burn through the misty night
everything is gold
visibility levels at an all time low
but all you need to see is
his shy smile
and your heart racing
he takes a wrong turn
you're both lost
then found
he pulls out your chair
and moves his closer to yours
knees touching, eyes meeting
giggles and winks
thoughts passed without a word
cold wind is still blowing
but his presence keeps your heart warm
stepping inside to a hot blast of an unknown tune
a spectrum of light bounces from wall to floor
picture frames hang from the ceiling
gold glitter on the walls
more camera flashes
you feel his hand in yours again
streaks of light cut through the hazy air
and your favorite song plays
the world disappears
you're lost
with each note,
each heartbeat gets louder
he holds you up and you float to the rhythm
there is nothing
and everything
he steals glances
but you know he owns them
twirling, swaying, falling
purples and blues and greens
the little lights twinkle in the lanterns above
fairies float around your head of falling curls
lipstick smeared
you're still lost
gold glitter covers your soles and your soul
everything is sparkling
you meet his eyes again
and you feel safe
his favorite song plays
the air is filled with light and laughter and glitter
he is lost
you know better than to ask for this dance
for he let you have yours
sleepy eyes dash back out into the brisk wind
a small water please,
with lots of ice
simply to enhance the feeling of freezing
irony is your forte
accidental dreams in the passenger seat
with his voice as your lullaby
good night
good night
a sweet kiss on the cheek
the golden highlight of a golden night
you're both lost underneath
the golden porch light
intertwined
good night
drive safely
good night

Six Word Story

Nothing went right
So you left