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Sunday, May 11, 2014

Four Days

Four days.
It's been four days since I've been out of the hospital. 
Four days in reality. 
A hell of a lot can happen in four days. 
It's been hard. 
What is reality?
Who am I?
If someone asked, who is Katelyn Bartels, I'm not sure I could answer. 
I'm not sure anyone could answer. 
Am I even real?
Is this life even real?
What is real?
My pastor today said John 10:10, "I came so that you might have life, and have it abundantly."
What does that even mean?
I couldn't even get my mind and body under control within four days. 
How am I supposed to live life abundantly when I don't even know whose life I'm living?
I want to know how to live, not just survive. 
But I barely know how to survive. 
It's been four days. 
And all I've done is survive. 
Not live. 
Four days in reality, and I still don't know who I am. 

Does this not concern anyone else?