I played that song for you in the car and you still didn't get it.
The very first chords thumped and we knew. I shot her a look and she grabbed my hand and we flew to the dancefloor.
Lights flashed, my face burned from the grins, and the room shrunk to fit just us and Dexy's Midnight Runners.
I don't know these people's names.
I like them.
I'm letting go.
Is this how Sam felt?
But she is fiction.
I am real, this is how I feel.
Right now.
I can feel those once awful memories attached to each note slip away into nothingness, and all that matters right now is the Living Room Routine and this girl who understands and these people I don't know but I wish I did.
Tuu rah loo rah tuu rah loo rah yay
We are spinning around. We lose ourselves. We slow down in time with the music and then speed back up, singing at the top of our lungs, not even caring that we sound horrible and our voices will be gone by the morning. My feet hurt from jumping and in one second, my hands are taken and we are running in a circle, flying and laughing and forgetting about everything.
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This song, this book, used to hurt me. It used to bring me down and make me speculate things that did not need to be speculated. But after that, after that frozen moment, something clicked. I'm building myself back up. I know who I am, and I'm embracing every part of me.
Whoever Eileen is, thank you for inspiring a timeless song and, ultimately, inspiring me.