infatuation is scary
it's consuming
it's falling
falling
deeper
and fast.
Infatuation is conjuring up and spilling out feelings through a fancy pen in a fancy journal
because lined pages listen.
It's strife and struggle, it's keeping up and putting out.
Infatuation is trying to make them love you
and avoiding the fear of loss.
Only now do I realize that I've had them confused all along.
I've never loved. I've never been in love. I've been infatuated. Maybe with the idea of love, the idea of a "him." But never comfortable.
I've actually always avoided the comfortable. Once you're comfortable, what's the point? Passion can be exuded in various ways, not always screaming fights in the pouring rain. I blame old pop music videos.
I want to say love is. But who can define? Love is so passe, cliche, misused and abused. Love, even the word, is overdone.
If I could find a word to replace it, something that actually describes the depths and the heights, the sunny morning walks, the late night drives, the laughs, the hugs, the tears, the sighs, then I'd use that word.
But love is not necessarily falling. Love can be stability. It can be safety. It can be a part of your life, and not your whole life. Instead of falling in love, why isn't the saying growing in love? The fear of losing the one you love should be non-existent, because you should be able to see it in their eyes how much they care for you. You should be able to hear it in the comfortable silence, feel it in their hand wrapped around yours, and see it in the sunrise. You should be able to feel it, and rest.